Becoming successful at supervillany..for Dummies.

It's amazing how many superheroes are there, and for every superhero you have at least half a dozen unique (super)villains. It's somewhat amazing that while almost no superhero is all powerful, most supervillains have a very tough time facing up to these (forgive the metaphor) sacks full of crap. My sympathies lie not with the hero who well, for one, almost always gets the girl, it lies with the antagonist who's never experienced true love and whose only aim is world domination. Obviously there are villains with other motives, but you see, once world domination is achieved, everything else can happily fall into place. The idea behind the guide is to create a sort of primer for anybody who wishes to be a supervillain, obviously this won't take care of everything, just quite a healthy lot.

The supervillain kit

• A mirror: For all sorts of rays and lasers. Most worthy neutralisations(MWN's) - Superman and Shaktimaan.
• A stick of kryptonite crystal. -The end of Superman.
• Minions with Guns. MWN's -Heroes with no superpowers, notably Batman, the Phantom etc.
• A Neogenic Recombinator and a large attractive female Tarantula. MWN's -Spiderman.
• A cortosis sword. The entire Star Wars universe.
• A large magnet. MWN's -Wolverine among other heroes with metallic costumes.
• The anti-mutating agent to the X-gene. MWN's the X Men, and other mutated superheroes. Some'd say Spiderman too, but hey, he's just easier to get with the female spider.
• A trip wire. MWN's -Flash.
• AT-AT's. MWN's -Flash Gordon.
• Anti venom for snake toxins. MWN's -Nagraj.
• A couple of bitches. MWN's -Doga.
• A couple of hot chicks. MWN's -Iron Man.

Do's and Dont's

Always,

• Press the big red button already.
• Run for your life if you see a little green creature spouting bad grammar rushing towards.
• If you're gonna inject a toxin, do it NOW.
• Cover vulnerabilities in your large space station with wooden planks.
• Have a backup power supply.
• Close all renegade wormholes to alternate universes. (Universes? :P)
• Check your mathematical calculations for stupid errors.
• Equip the robots you make with a fail safe self destruct mechanism.

Don't ever,

• Mess with Chuck Norris or Rajnikanth.
• Insult Lois Lane.
• Pity Batman.
• Say something on the lines of, 'With great power, yadda yadda..'
• Laugh like the joker.
• Make an anti venom for the toxin you invented.
• Even if you do have an anti venom, just don't reveal where it's kept, to anybody.
• Feel sorry for the plants/birds/minions you lose.
• Stand close to a wormhole that leads to an alternate universe.
• If possible, stay away from the WAG's, it just seems to make them madder.

Obviously this list is countably infinite and additions are possible. But if you're looking to invest in a career as a supervillain, a little headstart wouldn't hurt would it?