SUCKY-MAN

“It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Oh wait..yep it is.”

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Disclaimer :
While this act of blasphemy might not go down very well with the Superman fanboys, this is a risk I’ve got to take for reasons I shall explain soon. If I do end up getting lynched in a public place, my lawyer(s) will know who to (pur?)sue.

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Let’s begin by facing a truth, shall we? And this truth, believe it or not, involves you. The thing is that I happen to know that you sir, are a geek. Don’t ask me how. It’s just one of those things you know.

(For example, if you were to find one fine day that the food in the mess is um..tolerable, you’d know for a fact that one of two things have occurred, a) you’re in a dream or b) you’ve somehow managed to get yourself transported to a parallel universe. Any other possibilities that you come up with can mathematically be shown to be equal to either of these two, I'd go into the space-time calculations here, but it's what people love to call, 'out of scope').

Anyway, not to be digressing, working on the more than decent assumption that you’re a geek, it’d be logical to surmise that you’d have a favourite superhero. And if that’s Superman, you’re in for a treat.

If you were to sit back and spend some time thinking of reasons about why Superman is well..just lame, I’d bet that you’d come up with quite a few. Here's a few I could think of,

• The Hairstyle. Not only is Superman's hairstyle out of fashion since the 1960's, it's something that looks just about decent almost exclusively on a pet poodle. It's probably okay though if Superman's actually a transvestite or something, anyone know for sure?

• The Disguise. A disguise Lex Luthor's grandchild would have seen through. Too bad he doesn't have one.

• The Name. A name that he probably should have had changed or something. I mean come on, if it wasn't enough that he wears bright red knickers on a skin tight blue thingy, the dude calls himself Superman! Even if it were the people who gave him the name, everybody has rights. An affidavit to change one’s name doesn’t take much time, does it?

• The IQ. Or let's just say, the lack of it. Speculatively, it should be somewhere around just lesser than Forrest Gump's, likely equal to Megan Fox's.

• The Melodrama. If only you could win girls over by catching them while they fell from high rise structures...we'd at least know for sure what works..

• The Outfit. A RED cape. BLUE tights. RED knickers worn over his pants. Enough said.

Reasons enough? I guessed as much :P

The above borrows heavily from a Batman vs Superman conversation I had with a friend a few days back. Hope I've proven a point.