"Nolan's messed up my mind..."

Let's get this straight. Inception wasn't a bad watch, not in the very least. Thing is, I do have some issues with a Nolan film, just as a rule, if you will. He's a good film maker, he works with good actors in Bale and Michael Caine and his films are different from what Hollywood feeds us generally. But my musings have very little, if anything at all, to do with his films. What I find far more interesting, is to observe how people respond to a Nolan flick. Do note however, that these categories would apply to people watching any kind of movie, just the fact that they're so very prominent after a Nolan movie. Here's a few I've managed to come across,

• The desi. He's never heard of Chris Nolan, (he's probably seen The Dark Knight, dubbed or no really doesn't matter) and he'd rather watch Sonam Kapoor in a salwar kameez than Inception. He also has a 'thing' for Angelina Jolie, though all he restricts himself is to watching Youtube(Read Metacafe) videos, and abstains faithfully from a full length English movie.
  
• The hypocrite. He hasn't understood anything in a Nolan film ever barring the ending credits, but the first thing he does when he gets back home is post on facebook how awesome the whole thing was, and gives it a 5 star rating. Actively participates in discussions though, restricting his shitty self to commenting on how sexy he thought the female lead was. Just for the record, says he supported Spain at FIFA '10.
  
• The genius. His only regret in life? Not being christened Christopher Nolan. Actively points out how the film could have been made better, and complains about flaws, existent and non-existent. Not taken seriously in friend circles generally due to a plethora of past offenses which include saying how Al Pacino didn't do well enough to win the Oscar for Godfather II.
• The Harry Potter fan. (Contrary to popular belief I have as a matter of fact, managed to find such a person.) Compares The Prestige to Harry Potter 4 and says Inception was far better than Harry Potter 5. What he lacks is a pack of friends to beat the sense into him I think.
• The Twilight fan. Similar to the Harry Potter fan, except he's gay.
• The Harry Potter AND Twilight fan. If you know such a person, please shoot him(note : it's okay if it's a her..) in the head and put him out of his misery.
• The idiot. Is pretty candid about how he didn't get a single thing, and acquiesces to the fact sheepishly, batting his eyelids at the same time. Generally a she btw.
• The glutton. Might look a bit odd, but I assure you, I have a friend who goes with us to the theatres just for the popcorn and momos. Nobody knows what he thinks about the films he watches while gorging on Food. On being asked how he thought Inception was, all he says among mouthfuls of junk crap is, 'Acchi Thi'.
• The Attention hog. He swings into action the moment the end credits start rolling. He messages all his friends and updates social networking sites from his phone. Frames a tweet/ fb update on his way back home on how he's had a top that doesn't stop spinning all along. Only this time he calls it a totem.
• The facebook addict. Differs from the attention hog in the fact that he's taken quizzes on facebook which tell him what totem'd suit him the best, and how much time he'd be able to free himself in when chained and locked in a box and kept underwater.
• The critic. Might end up showing some traits of 'The genius' if he's not too careful. The only person in the lot who's seen 'The Following'.

To people who think the title'd make an excellent FB update and people do give a damn about what you think, a word of advice - Nolan flicks are flicks like every other, and to say that 'They've messed up your mind... ooooh' etc. suggest nothing but perhaps the fact that it's time you pay your family psychiatrist a visit.
If you don't get Inception on the other hand, fret not, watch something else like Salt instead. If that sounds daunting too, I dunno, but isn't there an Akshay Kumar flick lined up too?

Aaand...It's Over :(

Ah, well. Long time no see :) Let's just say I've been busy with the world cup, watching up to three matches a day can be pretty hectic.

Anyway, everybody knows how everything unfolded, who had the last laugh, and who perhaps deserved a little more etc. etc. The cup in itself wasn't without its talking points however, what with people cursing FIFA, the vuvus and sea creatures, we had enough action off the field to supplement whatever was missing on it.

Teams disappointed, and quite a few of them at that too, where'd they miss out?

France:

• Domenech. Proposed to his fiance after the Euro debacle, after this expected to go to the Middle East and marry half a dozen times.
• Henry. Learnt an important fact. You don't win the cup with your hands, not unless you're Maradona.
• Play Anelka, Gallas and Henry in the first team. "You must be stupid, stupid, stupid."-The Rainmaker.

Argentina:

• Unfortunately for Maradona, his team was just a bunch of 11 straight guys.
• Considering how quick they wanted to get back home to their girlfriends, make that '11 straight guys with super hot girlfriends'.

Nigeria

• Not much to say is there? They aren't going to play any international football for two years, which is going to affect their qualification for the next WC. A vicious circle really.

England:

• Yawn. Did well to qualify :P
• Interesting FB update, "Apparently Wayne Rooney's broken David Blaine's record of spending 42 hours enclosed in a box, doing nothing."

USA:

• I maintain, what they should do is offer citizenship to better players from around the globe. (eg. Pretty sure Drogba'd have accepted for one.)
• For the record, they did win the cup, in their computer simulations, beating arch rivals England 7-5 on penalties after a 15-15 draw.

Serbia:

• Another case of everybody wanting to play Goalkeeper. You do not touch the ball with your hands, you morons!

Cameroon

• Indomitable? Nah. Lions? Nah. Pathetic? ...

Italy

• Average age among the oldest in the competetion. Wives have been heard to say, 'Aao, Moov laga doon...' after fixtures.
• Sad, that I've always had a soft spot for the Azzurri, dunno maybe they should've brought Del Piero? Though that would increase the average age further by about 9 months...

Brazil

• An awful world cup for the Selecao. If this was cricket, Kaka would go back and open a Dhaba and call it..Nah, I'll let this pass.
• 'I find your lack of flair disturbing'- Lord Vader.

Ivory Coast

• Players received lots of calls after they wore skin tights in their opening fixture, sad that they could concentrate on the game no longer.
• Sven Goran Eriksson, now now, who in their right mind hires him? See what he did to England!

Portugal

• Cristiano Ronaldo, If only he could put his tricks to good use, like Zidane did, but then he's always been too busy showing off, so not really a disappointment eh?
• Discovered that he's fathered a child after the WC, well, we all go through bad phases :P

Chile

• Tough to mention them without using any puns ;), let's just say they didn't really set things on fire against far weaker opposition in their group.

Switzerland

• What's awesome and has holes? Swiss Cheese. What's not so awesome and has holes? The Swiss defence..
• The Swiss are magnanimous people, they make good cheese, manufacture uber cool watches, stash people's money away, and sacrifice sure shot qualification to let others qualify.

That's the lot, isn't it? A feeling of sadness and despair engulfs me as the fact that South Africa 2010's over finally sinks in. Two long years to Poland-Ukraine....